The Gift of Time

Seven years ago, when I was looking for a preschool for my daughter, I attended a Preschool Showcase at the local library. I was amazed by all the directors that spoke about their reading and math curriculums, enrichment programs, and computers for the 3 year olds. All I could think of was, “What happened to a sand table, some fingerpaint and a box of crayons?” Finally, one director began her presentation by reading the following poem...

Hurry, Scurry

Worry, Flurry

There go the grown-ups

To the office, To the store

Subway crush, Traffic rush

No wonder grown-ups

Don’t grow up anymore,

It takes

A lot

Of slow

To Grow

- Eve Merriam

I found my daughter’s preschool...


Two years later, I gave birth to a second daughter. I assumed that she would attend the same preschool – phew – no more showcases. Well, I was thrown a curveball when my little one began receiving Early Intervention services at 18 months and was recommended for a 12:1:2 preschool out of district. All of a sudden, my daughter’s days were filled with special education teachers, therapies at school, and private therapy sessions before and after school. What the…??? What happened to my dream for her to experience the world at her own pace and not “therapize” her every move?

Speaking of therapy, the school recommended that my daughter be evaluated by a behaviorist. Great, another therapist. In order for this expert to take my family on his caseload, he requested that we videotape my daughter during select times. One of his requests was 15 minutes of free play with me…just play…kid directed fun. I actually had to think about what she’d like to do. How could I not know what my daughter would choose? What about that poem that I had connected with so deeply for my “typical” daughter just 2 years earlier? Wasn’t it applicable to my special needs kiddo too? I was running with my daughter on this fast-paced therapy wheel in hopes of “catching up” before she was 4… before kindergarten… before her next district meeting. This was just the wake-up request that I needed. Time to bring some ‘fun’ and ‘slow’ back into our lives.

So, I’d like to invite you to do the same with your kids. Take some time each day – even if it’s 10 minutes - and unplug. Turn off the tv, the blackberry, and all of those electronic babysitters. Do you know how to “just be” with your child? Take a walk, play a game, have fun!! Tell them that you love them. Tonight, I asked my kids what they liked to do during family time and here’s their list: play Scattegories, movie night, play funny costumes, dance party, bike ride, play tennis. One of the nicknames that they gave me is “embarrassing mom” – this comes from my unconventional dance moves! It may be embarrassing, but at least it’s not “boring mom” or “distracted mom”.

Give your kids the gift of time and just remember: “We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give” ~ Sir Winston Churchill.

Kate Tracy, MS, CCC/SLP

Private Practice, Manhasset, NY